Time To Panic

The quest is over  

I have found the most comfortable pair of boots and I don’t care what they look like! Thank you all for your suggestions. I tried most and finally settled on a pair of Regatta ISOTEX; they are waterproof, breathable, as light as a feather, and as structured as a corset. Yes, they are very unattractive; they look huge on my feet and the clumpiest shoes I have ever owned.

It doesn’t help being a UK size 7 (I hear the clown theme tune playing in my head with every step); I have tripped up on my own feet several times. It’s like learning to walk all over again because your ankles are strapped in so tightly its nearly impossible to move, though no complaints from me. I’ve been told it will be my saying grace!!!

I have 100 days to “bond” with my boots and bond we will!

They feel better than they look!

The Expert  

I was up at “Tart’s” this weekend to “road test” the shoes and I learnt the following:

1.      I am not as fit as I need to be

2.      “Tart” has a sadistic streak

3.      My boots are fine

“Tart” was very impressed with my hiking gear though less impressed with my “modifications” (I wore a long skirt over my base layers - totally impractical).We decided to take a very long stroll and our first stop was some very steep steps. Now, I haven’t mentioned before but “Tart” is a seasoned traveller and has been on many adventures, from geocaching in in Japan to cycling through Bolivian rainforest, he has even trekked through the Himalayas to base camp at Everest. Naturally, he has done the Inca trail, and has been my authoritative voice throughout. For example, when he found out I’d be renting a sleeping bag for the duration he was mortified and compared it to sharing a toothbrush with a complete stranger! Now, when you look at it like that it is pretty gross!  He then went on to say he took all his own camping gear and carried it himself! He couldn’t bear to use a porter – not authentic enough. Now, coming from a proud Scotsman I kind of understand him wanting to be like the great explorer Livingston. Coming from a city slicker like me it just sounds stupid! Bring on the porters!!!

Test Drive

Highway to heaven!

So, it's Saturday morning and we are up and ready to go on a comfortable stroll...well, so I thought till he had me running up and down the steepest, slipperiest steps he could find; as soon as I got to the top he would say, “now times that by 1000 and that’s half of the trek!” I could have cried! He then proceeded to take me for a walk along the pier from which we then proceeded to climb down onto what could only be described as the surface of the moon packed with sharp objects, seaweed, smothered rocks and whatever else the sea had washed in over the last few hundred years. In short it was a death trap and he loved every minute of my fear! At one point I was sprawled out like a spider too frightened to move whilst he pranced from rock to rock like a squirrel. Realising I was lagging behind he shouted, “perhaps you should make it an 6 day trek,” as opposed to the customary 4 day.

When I felt he had gone too far he would retort, “I’m only getting you ready for your trek baby.” At this rate, Ill be dead before I get there!

The boots, on the other hand, held up to the challenge. They stayed dry when I slipped into a tide pool, kept my ankles intact when I slipped on the steps, and most importantly they carried on breathing when all I wanted to do was the total opposite!





My new best friends, I'm yet to name them....

Breakfast in bed

All was forgiven when "Tart" presented me with breakfast in bed the following day, which is bloody lucky as I just didn’t have the strength to go downstairs and get it myself. Everything hurts which is very down heartening as I thought the training was going well I dread to think what will happen when the altitude kicks in. I need to up my game.........................

He is a sweethart...............

Always the journey

The Case

Okay, so I am a thirty-something woman who has given a whole new meaning to the term “couch potato.” My idea of exercise is driving a manual car as opposed to my normal automatic. I wouldn’t say I am lazy, but I avoid strenuous activity at all cost. I have on occasion stood friends up because I got as far as their foyer, only to realise the lift was out of order!!! (She lived on the 22nd floor! Can you blame me?) I simply telephoned from the comfort of my car and advise them I would not be coming over.

I have even refused to stay in some lovely hotels simply because they had no lifts, which on reflection was a shame because I love historic buildings. I just love the ones with lifts more!

Most of my friends understand my total aversion to any sort of excise, which is odd because my closest friend and travel companion is a gym extremist! (I call her the bionic woman.) Honestly, I don’t know how she puts up with me. Actually, now that I think about it, I do: we compromise. She hits the gym while I hit the buffet hall. Its as simple as that! On one of our golfing holidays I was mortified to find the buffet had closed before I had eaten, and almost refused to tee off that day! Being the love that she is, she smuggled out a packed lunch for me before she swam 20 lengths of the Olympic sized pool!!!

My Defence

Fortunately for me I am one of those people who is naturally slim, though I have learnt very quickly that thin does not equate to fit! Slim and fit are two totally different things! I love food. I love good food, which is a blessing and a curse - it’s a curse because when I find a fabulous restaurant (such as AQUA, Welwyn) I do it to death (5 times a week!)  - but if there is no good food or good company I'll eat what I must to survive, which happens to be very little.

Previously, my hair was a huge obstacle to doing anything remotely physical as it took so long to whip it into shape. I'd be dammed to have it sweat out for any reason. This is no longer an issue since, as of November, I have liberated myself from my hair after being shown the light from my special friend ‘Tart.’ Tart couldn’t understand why I'd force my hair into doing something it doesn’t do naturally, or why I'd want to look like something I wasn’t; then the penny dropped and I cancelled my fortnightly trip to the salon @ £95 a pop plus 5 precious hours of my life.

My favourite pastime is reading; I read on average 6 to 8 books each month, most on audio as I have such a long commute into work, I tend to visit some of the places, and try the food, explore the culture, featured many of the books I read. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no Gulliver, but I do have a very curious mind. Most recently, bionic woman recommended I read a book titled “A Book of Human Skin” and it was amazing. We decided our next holiday should be to Peru to do the Inca trail, which I agreed to before I realised it was 24k trek through the Andes through some very tricky terrain! Still, my word is my bond and a promise is a promise! 

The ruling

After doing the research I learned that the trek is considered “moderate to strenuous” with a minimum of 6  hours hiking per day over the course of 4 days. The guides say you should be able to climb a minimum of 2000 stairs and fast-walk 10 kilometres as a benchmark, but then you must make allowances for the altitude! I AM DOOMED. I can’t manage 5% of this basic level of fitness. Its time for change! 

With all this extra time on my hands, and all this extra money from allowing my hair to grow feral, I decided to visit this place they call “the gym” and begin my training.

I'm 4 weeks into my journey and decided to do something else I've been meaning to do for years: BLOG.



Its a Sign!