Time To Panic

The quest is over  

I have found the most comfortable pair of boots and I don’t care what they look like! Thank you all for your suggestions. I tried most and finally settled on a pair of Regatta ISOTEX; they are waterproof, breathable, as light as a feather, and as structured as a corset. Yes, they are very unattractive; they look huge on my feet and the clumpiest shoes I have ever owned.

It doesn’t help being a UK size 7 (I hear the clown theme tune playing in my head with every step); I have tripped up on my own feet several times. It’s like learning to walk all over again because your ankles are strapped in so tightly its nearly impossible to move, though no complaints from me. I’ve been told it will be my saying grace!!!

I have 100 days to “bond” with my boots and bond we will!

They feel better than they look!

The Expert  

I was up at “Tart’s” this weekend to “road test” the shoes and I learnt the following:

1.      I am not as fit as I need to be

2.      “Tart” has a sadistic streak

3.      My boots are fine

“Tart” was very impressed with my hiking gear though less impressed with my “modifications” (I wore a long skirt over my base layers - totally impractical).We decided to take a very long stroll and our first stop was some very steep steps. Now, I haven’t mentioned before but “Tart” is a seasoned traveller and has been on many adventures, from geocaching in in Japan to cycling through Bolivian rainforest, he has even trekked through the Himalayas to base camp at Everest. Naturally, he has done the Inca trail, and has been my authoritative voice throughout. For example, when he found out I’d be renting a sleeping bag for the duration he was mortified and compared it to sharing a toothbrush with a complete stranger! Now, when you look at it like that it is pretty gross!  He then went on to say he took all his own camping gear and carried it himself! He couldn’t bear to use a porter – not authentic enough. Now, coming from a proud Scotsman I kind of understand him wanting to be like the great explorer Livingston. Coming from a city slicker like me it just sounds stupid! Bring on the porters!!!

Test Drive

Highway to heaven!

So, it's Saturday morning and we are up and ready to go on a comfortable stroll...well, so I thought till he had me running up and down the steepest, slipperiest steps he could find; as soon as I got to the top he would say, “now times that by 1000 and that’s half of the trek!” I could have cried! He then proceeded to take me for a walk along the pier from which we then proceeded to climb down onto what could only be described as the surface of the moon packed with sharp objects, seaweed, smothered rocks and whatever else the sea had washed in over the last few hundred years. In short it was a death trap and he loved every minute of my fear! At one point I was sprawled out like a spider too frightened to move whilst he pranced from rock to rock like a squirrel. Realising I was lagging behind he shouted, “perhaps you should make it an 6 day trek,” as opposed to the customary 4 day.

When I felt he had gone too far he would retort, “I’m only getting you ready for your trek baby.” At this rate, Ill be dead before I get there!

The boots, on the other hand, held up to the challenge. They stayed dry when I slipped into a tide pool, kept my ankles intact when I slipped on the steps, and most importantly they carried on breathing when all I wanted to do was the total opposite!





My new best friends, I'm yet to name them....

Breakfast in bed

All was forgiven when "Tart" presented me with breakfast in bed the following day, which is bloody lucky as I just didn’t have the strength to go downstairs and get it myself. Everything hurts which is very down heartening as I thought the training was going well I dread to think what will happen when the altitude kicks in. I need to up my game.........................

He is a sweethart...............

A Shoe for Every Season

I have recently started buying sensible clothes; by this I mean outdoor clothes, and it is almost as life-changing as actually going to the gym! This has come about since I started dating my special friend, “The Tart,” who enjoys outdoor pursuits,  but also  in preparation for my trek. Tart lives in a charming little fishing town in Scotland, which is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been to; I mean, the view from his dining table is breathtaking. Anyway, after my 2^nd visit I started to notice the double takes of my shoe candy, and not in the appreciative way that I am used to when I am in the big city. No, the looks tended to be more of a quizzical, almost comical, glares at my shoes. Then I noticed they all had on some sort of stout boot, be it Walking, Wellington or Fishing! Then I checked out their clothing and it was all the dull and outdoorsy, at which I couldn’t help but crinkle my nose.

Town mouse, Country mouse!

Fast forward 6 months, and I can’t get enough of the stuff! Its warm, cosy and has halved my dry cleaning bill. Outdoor clothes are still some of the ugliest clothing you will ever buy, but for the comfort it provides I’m sold! There must be some trendy outdoor clothes out there, or by the very definition must they be drab? Answers on a post card please.  I have now been introduced to “base layering” which means 3 thin layers for complete insulation, meaning you can hide the sensible stuff underneath regular stuff which is a win-win situation: no more “internal shivering” when out on sea front walks!  Now there's  only one problem: shoes!

 

As a retired shoe-a- holic (I say retired simply because I no longer go out and buy the first, second and third pair of shoes that makes my hart skip a beat) I think shoes are great works of art and I am in possession of a very extensive collection. I am too embarrassed to count, but at its peak I had in excess of 400 pairs! Though I must confess I had no show pieces; I wore all of my shoes, even the ones in the wrong size! But I just had to have ‘em. I have been “on the wagon” for the last 5 years, though my collection has grown its purely because I do not have the heart to throw away most of my old shoes! They hold oh-so-many memories. I can pick up any one of my shoes and have a tale to tell about them. If my shoes could talk the would make Oprah look like an amateur!

I am of the opinion that if you can only have one pair of shoes then make sure it is a red stiletto! Skinny jeans, white shirt, red stiletto; pinstripe suite, blue blouse, red stiletto; the little black dress, fishnet tights, and, yes, your trusted red stiletto! Be it casual, official or formal your red stiletto has got your back!

Mary

Paula

Denise

I am now desperately searching for a pair of hiking boots as I need to break them in a good few months before we leave for the Andes. I thought it could be a task my bionic woman and I could endure together, but even she has a well-worn pair. My mother always used to say “It hurts to be pretty,” and if your shoes are too comfortable then something is wrong! I have never bought a pair of shoes using the following parameters

·         Waterproof

·         Lightweight

·         Ankle support

·         Breathable

And why would I? If it rains stay indoors, if you want light weight wear flip-flops, and if you want breathable go bare foot and that is that.

Well, it’s not really; if I can’t find a good walking boot then I can’t do the trek and that really is that, and time is fast running out.

I need serious help………………………..